A Christmas ditty from Mrs A:
The Night Before Christmas – trailer sailer version
T’WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS and all through the boat,
The bilge pumps were pumping to keep us afloat,
The children were nestled all snug in their berths,
(We sleep here most nights in summer, best place on earth)
As the wife read On Board Masterchef and I guzzled beer,
She said “You’ve had enough, now come to bed dear.”
Then out on the water there arose an uproar
As I reached in the esky to get just one more.
So up went my head out of the hatch.
(Though I should have thought first to undo the latch.)
I saw stars for a moment, and as quick as a blink
My wife yelled, “See, you have had too much to drink!”
The moon on the water lit the Basin up bright
(Which was good, since the kids had lost my flashlight)
Then what with my wondering eyes should I see,
But a fat, fuzzy old guy in a Whittley Capri.
Instead of an outboard hung on the rear,
Tied to the bow were rambunctious reindeer.
More rapid than a southerly buster, those reindeer they flew,
And on each of their hoofs was a Ronstan boat shoe.
With crashing and bashing, a banging and knocking,
I knew in an instant that they must be docking,
“No Dasher! Hold it, Dancer! Damn you Prancer and Vixen.
Stop, Comet! Grab a line, Cupid! Get fenders, Donner and Blitzen!
Look out for that boat! Watch that anchor won’t trawl!
Now fend off, fend off, fend off you all!”
He was dressed in a red peaked cap ringed with fur trim
Wearing only red Speedos that covered a fraction of him.
I was shocked and astonished. What could I say?
I also go boating dressed exactly that way.
He then grabbed a bag, a bulging huge sack,
And hoisted it up onto his back,
He also had sponges and a scrubber in hand
And he pointed way over toward the hard sand
He said “My name’s Nick, and my friend, I can tell
That your gel coat needs attention and your deck looks like hell.
Your cockpit needs cleaning, your stanchions polish rubbing,
Your coach house needs bleaching and your waterline needs scrubbing,
You’ve put these jobs off for too long and you well know it.
So here’s all that you need. This time don’t blow it.”
Then as quick as he came, he was back on his boat,
His reindeer revving and eager to tote.
“Merry Christmas!” he called as they cruised through the night.
“And regarding the beer Joe, your wife she’s quite right.”